How to stay motivated

Another mini bite episode today answering a question from one of my Pretties which is how do we stay motivated as an entrepreneur?

There are lots of ways that motivation shows up for different people and as an entrepreneur it can be so hard to keep motivated. It could be your family that motivates you, helping others  or bringing something amazing into the world. Or it could be a combination of reasons that keep you motivated. There are also those times though where we’re struggling or having a bad day so it’s important to have strategies in place for when this happens you can overcome the problems.

Hi Pretties, and welcome to this episode. Today I’m going to talk about how to stay motivated. This was a great question that I had from Emma Holt in my social pretties free group on Facebook. If you’re not already in the free group, please do come and join us, we would love to have you in there with us, but I thought this was a really fantastic question to ask, because when you’re a solopreneur, or you have a small team of people, you do actually have to be completely self managed, and self motivated, and it can be something that goes either in your favor, or can be a little bit against you. So you can be the type of person that over works and doesn’t have the right boundaries in place because of that self motivation, that self management, or you can be the type of person who is like, no, I do not want to do any of the things today and therefore, I’m not going to move, creating your own kind of perfect storm in lack of traction and then not having the growth that you want, and that can be difficult too right? And you get that because you are the CEO you are, have this autonomy over your own business so you get to be the one that says no, today I will have a duvet day which is great, but it’s also not always the best thing if you do that too often or if you give yourself too much of a break it’s a very difficult sweet sweet balance to be correctly self managed and correctly, self motivated.

The self management is something that I am continually working on all the time, I’m still now at this point, having to battle with myself not to overwork, even though I’ve created this model, where I don’t have to do that anymore. I always seem to find something else to go on another idea to jump on to another thing that we want to do another way, we can help, another free resource. I find it very, very difficult to stop myself in those situations. But when it comes to self motivation, the actual motivation that fuels the fire deep down inside, I think that is a really really great, great question because everybody has a personal idea of what their motivation is. Everybody has their own answer to this question. And obviously, when you start thinking about your big why you get some commonalities with other people with other entrepreneurs and business owners in the way that you would have a lot of people say it is my family. and it is my family. You know it’s my husband, my children, my mum, my sisters, you know, their families, my nephew and niece, my brother in laws, my extended family. It’s all of that for sure like that all has a massive place within my internal motivation. But when we look outside of that initial, I want the people who I adore to be proud of me arena, there is this self fulfilling arena of motivation of what I actually want for my life and what I actually want to do with my life and what feels good to me and what feels right to me.

I’ve always been on this journey of wanting to help people. I consider myself to be a bit of an empath. I’m not sure how you can prove if you’re an empath or not, but I always tend to suck up people’s emotions, quite easily. I am very sensitive to media and films and things. My husband will probably tell you a wonderful story about the first time that we watched law-abiding citizen shortly after our eldest daughter was born. And my reaction to the first 10 minutes of that film was, you know, hilarious. It was hilarious. I was, I was in absolutely, I was an absolute state and I do take that stuff on. Within that empath side of me within that kind of soaking up of people’s feelings and emotions and, and the vibrations that are around me. I’m very acutely aware of struggle. I’m acutely aware of when people need assistance when people need help. And I find a real deep down joy in being able to be the person that bridges that gap of being able to be that safe space for somebody that place where some space has been held for them, where I’ve been able to unlock something within them, or support them in getting into some sort of result and that result might be inherently personal. It might be an inner result, it might be an outer result. Sometimes it’s to do with our feelings, our emotions, our beliefs, our mindset, you know, all of those things and sometimes it’s just Dawn, I don’t know how to hook up this thing with my Facebook page, you know and that’s helpful too.

I have always been really, really into being around other people I’ve loved being customer facing. I’ve loved being around people. And I just, I really enjoyed that. So much so that many people have mistakenly labeled me as an extrovert previously, because when I am in that arena as long as I have the internal energy to deal with it. You know I am in my element, I can be in my element and there is a performer side to me, that switches on and I really enjoy being around people and, you know being amongst people and that’s why customer facing jobs for me previously have always been things that I found really really easy, even the harder things when it comes to customer facing stuff I’ve always found really easy.

So there is this kind of deep set inherent feeling of wanting to help people and wanting to get them to where they want to be faster so that they don’t have to go through maybe some of the struggles that I’ve been through. I’m quite tenacious. So, there is a motivation to know all of the things, as well. I love learning, and I’m constantly investing in myself and learning new things and going, and training, and just filling my brain with more and more and more. And I think that is something that is a motivator for me. It’s really fulfilling for me to be able to go and figure stuff out and especially the stuff that’s challenging. I won’t stop until I know, until I’ve got a good handle on it, which gives me a really good position to be able to turn around and help the next guy. And I love that it’s really important to me. That would probably be my kind of first level of motivation.

If we explore other levels of motivations now that I’m at the place in business where I am right now, there is, there is a bit of a trifle. It’s multi-layered, it’s multifaceted. Nowadays it’s a little bit different, there’s a little bit more to it. I feel a massive responsibility to you my pretties, I feel a massive responsibility but it’s not heavy it’s very much a joy. It’s a joyous space, it’s not a heavy, you know responsibility that causes me stress or worry, there is a little bit of stress when you own your own business and when you’re up to your ears the way I am, but it’s not a unmanageable stress, it’s actually the kind of stress that comes with fulfilling your dreams and actually getting outside of your comfort zone, which I appreciate. I have a responsibility I feel to my team. And that’s kind of, again, a lovely joyous space to be in. So there’s a motivation to get it right for them, and to do the things that require being done in an excellent way for them. And, you know, I’m gonna go there, I no longer have my dad with us. He passed away in 2006, which I say that and it’s a long time ago but some days it feels like forever and some days it feels like it was just yesterday. And my dad left us at a time when I was extremely confused about what I wanted to be, how I wanted to live my life, I had some ideas about being a professional singer, I had some ideas about being professional actress, and the, you know, all of these fantastic whims of a just slightly older than teenage girl. And here’s the last thing that he said to me, I can’t use the word I don’t think what he said to me, let the so and so’s have it, and not in that language. But he basically said, Go out there, girl and let them have it. And that was kind of his last. His last conversation with me, the last thing that he said to me was, he saw something in me that he thought was important that he thought was worth sharing and I’m 100% certain he was talking about my singing. But, you know, in his absence, I feel like I’m allowed to have some poetic license over his lasting wish for me in terms of just not being afraid to give my light out, as I see fit. When I can help people when I have something that I can do that is joyful for me. I’m allowed to have that motivation for joy. And just to fulfill that part of me as a person.

So, that’s a massive part, and I’ve been thinking a lot recently of what he would think of everything that I’m doing, and all of the different things that we’ve achieved whilst we’ve been going. And I think, without being too overly braggy I think he’d be really proud of me. And there is a weird motivation in that to like almost honoring his memory, in a way that feels good to me, and doing what feels right and just what is in alignment with me, unapologetically and letting the so and so’s have it, as it happens, they’re not so and so’s they are amazing, amazing female entrepreneurs. But, you know, same saying. And that’s really motivating for me too.

I have gone through a lot of working situations where I felt like I could give more, and have not either have the opportunity, or also I will say, maybe not have the confidence in myself, to put myself forward for things I have suffered a lot of nervousness and a lot of stage fright and a lot of worry, in terms of putting myself forward for things. I was that person who wanted to be discovered without doing anything you know just somebody would go oh look, she’s the next person that can do something amazing in the world so come on board you can come and do this thing. Without me ever having to actually put myself forward because I feel like there was some level of shame in saying hey I’m quite good at this thing or hey I enjoy this thing and I want to do more of it. There was something deep set within me that thought that in doing that, I would be a horrible human being like I would be braggy and brash, I don’t know what that was, was definitely something within me that I’ve broken in my 30s whatever that feeling was I’ve taken it and smashed it over my knee to smithereens, it’s, it’s no longer there, I am the queen of the, “I don’t care if it’s humble or not brag”. I’m more than happy, and I always tell my pretties, I want to know about your wins, I want to know about everything that’s good that’s happening for you and I feel like I have to also do that myself. I have to own up when things are going really, really well. I’m not scared of success, I definitely don’t mind shouting about the wonderful things.

But there’s definitely motivation in there to like, there’ve been some missed opportunities somewhere in my previous years, where I could have experienced other things that I didn’t experience because I never put myself forward for it or I’ve been amongst people who didn’t necessarily understand or appreciate or believe in my potential. And, you know, depending on which stage of my life, we would, we take a Scrooge travel back to would depend on which one of those are relevant, but that is, that’s also part of the motivation right? So I know I have more to give. And in giving the way that I do it makes me feel good, it gives me financial freedom. It helps me support my family. And it gives me the opportunity to really really truly enjoy the work that I do which is so amazing and I’m so grateful for it.

When things are really bad because I’m talking about your normal day to day here, aren’t I? So motivation in that way is totally fine when its your normal day? When things are really bad. The main factor of motivation that gets me going is reminding myself that actually, no matter what situation I’m currently in no matter how it feels in that moment, it will pass on some level. That’s not to suggest that if you’re going through some deep set emotional turmoil, that whole ‘time is the greatest healer’ stuff is going to be just the ticket you need to bounce out of bed and do what you need to do today. That’s not necessarily how it works. But for me, I know myself, even if I’ve had a bad day which I mean you don’t really have bad days at work, I don’t really see it as work first foremost it’s definitely a passion. It’s definitely a passion, it’s definitely like my life’s work, not like it’s not a job, it’s not a job. But even on a day where I may have had some challenges or I may have been stressed out or we may have come across some behaviours that go against our core values, our integrity or, you know, our really deep set values, stuff like that is always the stuff that gets my goat. I just have to think about that actually that’s not going to last, and I know that if I can just kind of hold myself, I can find a way back through to that better day. The motivation is always about being able to trust and believe in myself that no matter what comes up I can achieve it, I can overcome it. If I need help, ask for help. If I can tenaciously get through it myself I will go and I will fight, I will find my way to go through the goblin city, and I will get, you know, to the castle by myself but I mean it’s definitely something that you have to have, there has to be an internal motivation, it has to be something that gets you up and out of bed every morning.

I love checking my phone. I have a really, really deep set internal joy at receiving messages from my clients, letting me know how they’re doing. I love the interaction. I love chatting to them and just seeing how they’re doing giving other ideas, and just that whole continued conversation for me, it’s amazing. I love putting content out that’s helping people. And I love when I hear back for people to say, oh I listened to your podcast I really enjoyed that one, or I’ve downloaded your newsletter or I don’t know, I’ve read your blog, and it really helped me with this thing, that kind of fuels the internal motivation that just gives more fire to everything, and then seeing people who have worked with me go through that transition of really struggling, really not being sure at all whether they will be able to make it work for them, put in some simple things in place, and then actually seeing it work and not just seeing it work as in Dawn was right, that works for actually finding a deeper level of self belief in themselves, and sometimes also seeing themselves in a completely new light. That for me is amazing, and that is a massive internal motivation. And if I’m ever struck for not feeling motivated, that is my marker that I’m about to burnout, that’s my marker that I need to take some time away. I need some brain space, I need some physical rest, and I need to do things that I do as a hobby that have no business expectation upon them. So for instance, my illustrations and doodles that I do, I do not say to myself, Oh, you must do another drawing, you must do another doodle. You know, you must do that because it must go out on the 12th and the 18th every month on social media like I don’t do that, the doodles, and the little drawings that I do that I enjoy doing they come from a heart space and it’s very often that I do that is a form of relaxation on the sofa with a blanket and a cup of coffee or out in my garden chair, I’ve got a lovely garden swing outside, and I’ll just take my iPad and go and just draw whatever is in my head or my heart and that time. That’s kind of like, for me, relaxation, taking time away from the computer, taking time away from emails, client work and everything that goes with that. Having my team takeover the day-to-day, so that I can spend time with my family. When we’re outside of the UK, we love to go and chill on a hot beach somewhere or explore different cities and different places we love to travel, all of us love to travel. And when we’re in the UK if we’re close to our beach near where we live, then we go down, and we look for rocks and shells and creatures and stuff, and all of these things are just really, really kind of wholesome ways to spend time that aren’t work that allow you to recoup and gain that motivation back. So if you find yourself in a situation where your motivation is not all the way there. It could be an indicator that you need to take some time and just sit back, give yourself some time to really kind of connect with yourself again and take the respite that you need to gain that motivation back.

And that is how to stay motivated: know what it is that you really find joy in, know what it is that gives you that fire, and remind yourself of it, and make sure that it’s in the forefront of your mind, especially on the days where that might be a little bit hard and I always think that writing a gratitude list around the things that you have that maybe you wouldn’t have if you weren’t on this journey. That can be a really good reminder as well. And I hope that that will be illuminating on internal motivation in general, and I’ll see you next time.