Self-Belief

Hi Pretties in this short bite, I want to talk to you about self belief, it’s something that comes up time and time again whenever I support, any of you, not just with your businesses but also the balance between your life, the lifestyle that you want, your families, everything, just the whole kit and caboodle, of being a female entrepreneur, being in the digital space, and wanting to achieve those big goals that you have in mind. Now, when we go into being a business owner, we tend to do it from a couple of different places. It can be an internal motivation that has come through from having the autonomy over your own day, your own week, your own month, your own life. This is something that’s really important for me personally, sometimes it is a passion project that has turned into a business that once we kind of fuel that fire within it, within us we can’t put that down, we have to do something with it. It’s fulfilling, it creates joy, and we get to a place where actually we really want to continue putting our energy in that direction. And then occasionally, it is just down to a savvy business idea, an opportunity to make an income, have a great job that you have control over in an area where you have the right expertise to do so. Now, there is no right or wrong reason for going into business, but what we do is we create these ideas in our mind of what we want to achieve and how we’re going to get there is sometimes the secondary thought, then we might think of plans we might think of goals we might think of how we want to achieve those goals that we’ve thought up, and often we’ll look at this from a logistical standpoint or a logical standpoint, where we’re actually considering plan to plan, strategy to strategy how we will achieve these things. 

There is a massive gap between wanting to have a business, wanting to have these goals, wanting to have whatever that level of success looks like to you, and actually jumping into the place where you can get into that practical workload, to be able to do that thing. And that bridge is self belief. Believe it or not, it is the moment when you realize that actually you are capable of achieving what you require, what you want, what you desire, what you feel you deserve. And this can sometimes be the one missing step that my ladies come to me with. I’m doing all of the things, I’m time blocking, I’m advertising, my social media is on point, I have had a brand shoot, I have a sales page, I have a funnel all these wonderful things that we feel that we have to tick off the list, right. 

The list for female entrepreneurs, for how you can be successful in business does not necessarily start by time blocking tasks. Don’t get me wrong it’s a fantastic, fantastic practice and there are so many practical, hands on things, and throughout this podcast I hope to give you more of those. Those day to day things that can make you more efficient, they can get you through your day in a more focused and structured way, of course, but I really do believe that you have to have a moment you have to have some investment some skin in the game, in terms of how much you personally believe you can either achieve the goals that you’re looking to achieve, or, you know, your self belief in whether you can, you can pull it off. Can you really do it? You think you can do it. Can you really do it? This is really important and I think when we walk into the female entrepreneurial space, it is very easy to be flummoxed immediately by those around us who potentially look like they are very, very successful. That life is easy, that money it is just flowing to them which it is that they have everything sorted, that they have everything mapped out, they have a road map from A to B to C, they know what they’re doing today, tomorrow, next month for the next quarter for the annum and from between now and the next five or 10 years right? They have teams of people, they have just these wonderful structures and we can look at that and we can go oh my gosh I need to do all of those things I need to do all of the things really quickly. And I need to know how to structure every single part of this day, I need to know how to do all of these things within my business because this is another part. When we start our businesses quite often there is just numero uno. So the person who is possibly building the website or possibly building a funnel or a sales page or doing our social media strategy or winging social media as often. When I come across my pretties that’s often where they’re at. And you are the marketing manager, you are the sales person, you are the accounting, you are your own version of HR, and you should be giving yourself Self Care Benefits and making sure that your well being is covered. Although I do believe that this is maybe the one department solopreneurs find difficult to put at hat on for.  

Before you get to all of that, before you start juggling all of the things and spinning all of the plates, you must first have that foundation of belief and confidence in yourself. This is one of the reasons why I am incredibly passionate about encouraging each other, about lifting each other up and being an empowering force together in community, because sometimes you cannot see the wood for the trees. You may not be able to pick out those really great fantastic natural or learned skills and benefits if you have, that are actually brilliant for putting out into the universe, brilliant for putting out into the world, that will support and help somebody else. Sometimes you need somebody else to be that soundboard, you need somebody else to be that mirror so that they can turn around and say, Hey, I’ve recognized this thing in you. I know you can do it. I know that you can harness the power of this particular skill, and this is unique to you. This is just yours. We all need that, especially at the beginning.  So when it comes to self belief, do you need to inwardly work all the way through. Well kind of, yes, you know, we use the term mindset mindset mindset, all the time it’s a bit of a buzzword in our industry. The reason why it’s a buzzword in our industry is because it’s the fundamental part of everything that we do. The self belief has to come from what you tell yourself, how you practice that self belief, how you give yourself empowerment first right? We don’t always have the tools to do that by ourselves to begin with. And that’s why finding communities of other people who can really nurture and support that within you, whilst you’re in your startup stages can be the secret sauce if you will, to success, whatever success looks like for you. Now, my top tips for self belief are really, really simple. First of all, do go and find yourself a community, find yourself, if not a big community if you’re slightly more introverted or you want to be a little bit more nurtured in a smaller group that’s fine, that’s totally fine. It doesn’t matter, as long as it works for you, that’s all that really matters, engage with people, speak to people, Be brave, make friends, don’t worry too much about how you may be perceived, you always have the opportunity, online, to, to remove yourself to leave unfriend or block so you’ve always got those tools in your toolkit right?  There’s nothing to lose. It may feel like a risk but actually it’s not that much of a risk if you’re willing to give yourself the space and the power to do it.  And ease your way into it, you don’t have to go like a bulldog in a china shop. To show for a bull in a china shop and just run in and be like Hey everybody, I’m here, you can give yourself the opportunity to actually get to know people and slowly, slowly get in to this great community and you know chat and make friends in a delicate way, in a way that suits you in a way that is right for you.  

But make it a practice to give yourself kudos for the work that you actually can do. This could be something like creating a five step gratitude journal that you do every morning before your morning coffee. Or it may be a point of writing down your wins at the end of the day so that you can recognize and direct your mind to the things that actually have gone right for you for the things that you have created for yourself that has been positive. That has been a win, that gives energy to that area of yourself, of your brain, and really kind of underpins what it is that we’re trying to achieve here, gives yourself the focus to that. Make that a practice, a daily practice. Another thing that I really love about self belief that would be my third tip would be to not shy away from the confidence of knowing what you’re really good at. We’re great at hiding our true skill behind this mask of humility, okay?  We, none of us want to come off looking like we are just super out there. Nobody wants to be like hey, I’m fabulous and to turn people off or or even for ourselves to feel a little bit like an imposter, that’s not always our default comfort mode. I love it when it is our default comfort mode because there’s no shame in it but culturally, you know, we women just tend to reduce ourselves to fit the environment, which, you know, we need to unlearn. And that mask of humility actually doesn’t serve you. It doesn’t serve you in true positive collective environments where people can are truly wishing for the best for you. Being able to say, I’m really strong at this thing, I’m really confident at helping female entrepreneurs to grow successful businesses, earn more money, and work in a way that suits them and their lives so that they feel joyful and joyous about what they’re doing. It’s no, there’s no shame in being able to admit that, there’s no shame in being able to fully recognize and express your strengths, unapologetically and with love opening up that forum for women to be able to do the same thing, open up the space, hold some space for others to, go in that way and allow the people to be that way, and express it and embrace it with the same loving energy. 

The other thing that I really think is good for self belief is being honest with the people around you that possibly don’t understand business. This can be a tough one female entrepreneurs often have a rally of friends and family who do not necessarily understand the sacrifices, the difficulties, the wonderful joys and just the whole, the whole kit and kaboodle of what it’s like to be a female entrepreneur breaking down in a space, a digital space where there are lots of people who are working in a similar way. And we can shy away from those conversations outwardly too, we can reduce ourselves into smaller boxes, and not express what we’re truly feeling, not be open to our friends and family about what’s truly going on. This is something I haven’t dealt with personally but I know that it’s happened a lot. I’ve had friends who wonderfully supported me, and I’ve had friends who supported me once I hit a certain marker, then maybe chose to kind of fall off.

The further through my journey I’ve become. But on the whole my, my direct family and friends have been absolutely just totally on board and completely supportive, that’s not always how it works. I know myself that I talk about my business a lot to people who don’t really understand it to my friends who don’t know what it is I’m doing, and it’s because it’s a source of joy. Just in the same way as you would talk about your last holiday, or the painting you created or your children or grandchildren or nephews or nieces or anything at all within your life that brings you that level of joy that you want to shout about it with people that you care about you want them to know what it is you’re doing, you want to express that. So, in order to believe you are who you are, because you are. I would love for you to do that, and express yourself around people who maybe aren’t always completely in the know about what it is that you want to achieve and what it is that you’re doing. 

And my fifth and final tip, fifth and final tip is a little bit of visualization. This isn’t just Hokey Pokey. It’s not just, Wool, I genuinely believe that visualization is a wonderful day dreamy tool that adult women do not use enough. We need to use it more, and visualization. Visualization just allows you to think about the person who you are becoming, think about the person that you want to be, and make conscious choices to get there. Now, the woman that you want to be or the woman that you’re becoming which is a more accurate version. She has self belief right? She believes, she knows there is a deep confidence in her about what will work, what won’t work. She has the experience in her own skills. She has the winds that she knows that she has witnessed the results that she knows that she has produced. She has that self belief. So take a minute.

Give yourself a nice cleansing deep breath in and consider what she feels like put that on for a minute. Who is that woman that you’re becoming?  Absolutely full of self belief.  It’s a massive step.  Yes it’s maybe not the most practical and not giving you a task list on your computer, a to do list an actionable steps list, via email, but it is absolutely vital to you being able to make the bridge between the person that you are now the business that you have now, the person you are coming and the business that you’re about to have. Okay, that’s that bridge of self-belief. So I hope that will help you if you’re stuck for the first step, and want a warm, welcoming community of female entrepreneurs to join, please do join us over at Social Pretties on Facebook. The link is in the description, and we would welcome you with open arms. Until next time.